26/04/09
its 12:20am currently.back from playing Robin's private server .
currently, i cant sleep.still thinking,still wondering.
why? idk.the feelings are still present, i guess.but fading? im sure.
feeling a bit better,but surely not so good.
i can't face things straight as i used to do.im not so optimistic like i used to be.im not that regular joking kind of guy.
i tend to put on a long face nowadays.i tend to change my point of view quickly.i tend to pick up fights recently.im starting to lose myself.
argh, what to do ?i can't control myself anymore.
yeah, i can be alright.and the next second, i can fall down to the ground.
sorry peeps, i can't promise you that i'll be alright.but i can say, i'll try.i'll try my best to forget.i'll try my best to change back.
i'll just have to accept the previous month's joy and happiness
as a pouch full of lies..
i'll just have to accept the previous month's tolerance and endurance
as a caution for me, nvr to step into a such one-sided love relationship.
im sorry.
im sorry friends.
im sorry for making you all worry.
21/04/09
whats left for the rose
is when it is going to whither.
everything's down, everything's gone.
the life for that rose will eventually end.
yeah, a lil something by a huge someone.
not by me , of course.
im in a dilemma.
im in confusion.
im losing myself.
i dont know...
totally spacing out in class,
not knowing whats happening.
wondering about someting i care dearly,
that could end easily.
no.. i dont want it to.
imy <3
16/04/09
*NOTE : the following sentence is not for boasting =D
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HAPPY FIRST MNTH-SARY BABY !
-happy birthday Salimah (16/04)
-Nadhira > thx for motivating me to hold on (:
11/04/09
again, hais.just feeling sth aint right.but well, when the time is right or approaching,i will reveal.
hmm, this week has been very lonely.lets skip it.
monday, napfa test. did 4/5 stations.did sit&reach,pull-up,shuttle run and sit ups.hahaha, 5points each =Dsit&reach got 50 =Dpull-up, 9 =Dshuttle run, 9.8sec =(sit ups, stopped at 49 =Xhahaha. tues went out to find darl's present.but not enough $$ ): .
amaths, getting the hang of it.malay, getting better.
wed, total boredom.felt like wanting to faint.
thurs, had sports day.again, total boredom.went out with Muhd and Kevin to hougang mall after that.hahahaha, played at playgrnd =D.ehhh, funnn ehhhhhhhhhhh.did pull-ups. well, they did. not me =xwent home like 9pm+.reached back home, no scolding =D
so next week monday, im meeting her.hope things turn out alright.
i really do hope so.
ily, baby...
im holding onto it.
im holding onto it tightly.
i dont want to let it go.
i dont want it to disappear from my reach.
i dont want to lose you again.
but now, things are getting more worse.
i know now that we, our bond, is very fragile.
but no, i dont want to give up.
i know we can, we can strengthen it, baby.
dont be scared alright?
10/04/09
ohh, what a " GOOD " friday today have been -.-im so pissed.
everyone's having problems.my peeps, my family and specially darl.its less than a week to our first month.
i dont know what to say,im feeling emotionally weak right now.i cant think straight, i tend to be clumsy nowadays.
now im having a bad feeling of sth, and it doesnt fail me.but i know, im not the one to start it.cause i wouldnt want it to happen.hear me out, i dont want to lose you.
imy, baby darl.